In Search Of Food

 Hi there,

It's been a while since I wrote. One could say I had a writer's block, and had nothing to write about. Well I am back again with new content on a Sunday afternoon, when most people have lives.

I went on a trip recently (after ages - ages I tell you). Me and a bunch of friends (old and new) were heading to the scorching, ethereal land of Andhra Pradesh to attend a wedding of someone close to us.
( Congrats bhaiya, you lucky bum.)

Now if there's one thing I remember of my visit to Andhra Pradesh (back when it hadn't split into AP and TS) was the utter lack of restaurants. We had gone via train, and even the trains were devoid of the comforting calls of "Tea! Coffee! Idly! Dosa!". That was a hungry trip.

Keeping that in mind I packed a small bag of snacks and hoped it would be okay. But it turns out, we have all grown up, and one packet of potato chips, and one pack of healthy biscuits does absolutely nothing for morale. Apples only inspire irritation, and any amount of chocolate seems woefully less.

And so we began looking for food.

It was almost more than a decade since I went to AP, and there I was thinking - "Things would have changed now! It will be fun, and there would be loads of food now!". Boy was I wrong. We traveled for a whole two hours in search of one decent place where we could freshen up and have food.

This is where one would think Google maps would help us. Sadly, Google maps turned out to be a sinister entity during the course of this trip, as the following post is going to explain. (I will also be writing about the more sinister things Google maps did during the trip soon).

Sure, it showed us places to eat with 4 star ratings, and being in a hurry, we did not bother checking the photographs or reviews or questions, which was a huge mistake. We kept a close eye on the map, and frantically looked at the isolated road around us for these 4 - starred wonders. We did happen to pass tiny shabby tents, and when we would look at the maps, we would see that our destination had gone by. It took us three tries and the lack of anything on the road to realize that those tents and shabby looking establishments were the "restaurants" that we were looking for.

Then we started reading the reviews and looking at the photos.
Have a look at them yourself!

This was a Rajasthani Dhaba (which supposedly served great food). The only pictures you can see here is of a kid who loves Instagram filters too much and trucks. That tiny shed you see in the bottom left with the head seemed like the establishment - but no there was nothing of the sort on the road.

Here are some more pictures of the establishment - You can see a birthday party in progress, and a guy moodily looking away while taking a selfie. One might assume this guy was delicious if we were hungry enough, however cannibalism was a far away thought for us at the time.

This great bloke had a shop - not even a restaurant, and there is a random picture of someone near the sea. We were nowhere near the sea. 4.1 Stars everybody! Cheers!
The dog is cute though

Then there was this one:

This was more or less honest. We can see a bunch of people inside a hut like structure eating biryani (EVERYONE here eats biryani for some reason) and drinking sprite. Nevertheless, the selfies were uncalled for!

And then the pièce de résistance:

And the award for the most confusing entry on Google maps goes to - Prasanna DP'z ( with the apostrophe) which had one rating of 5 ( I think he rated himself?). It had multiple photos of this git peeking from a tree, giving us the finger, and showing us money.
 I think he is trying to tell us something...
Maybe he is trying to tell us to run away from that spot, because Google maps looks out of trees, and scares the living daylights out of us. And when we ignored his sage advice, we are given the bird.
And as a final plea he offers us money, take this money, and stop looking at Google maps.. It is a muRDereR .. VasanT RAj SHettY Is dEAd... ReMEMBer VAsanT RAJ sheTTy...

We finally found some place that was more or less alright. However do NOT visit that place at night, because the murals and decor would again, terrify you. More on night time adventures later!

PS: My colleague was saying the Vasant Raj Shetty questions were taken down. This means it was Maps all along, and now it is onto us!
This got very long! Let me not keep you longer
Until next time,
DragonRider