Confusing Kettles

 Our recent tussle with Covid left us (me. left me) wanting the comfort of a nice water Kettle. 

My childhood memories always had a trusty electric water kettle (in case you confused it for a kettle to pop corn or something) in the background, a constant, quick and reliable source of hot water whenever I so wished to have some. 

The value of the kettle was instilled in me from a very early age. I was a young young child, in a Bangalore that was quite chill for about 6 months, rainy as hell  for 4, and had a warming, kind sun for the remaining 2. Needless to say, I was sick most of the time. Tea, warm water, became my go to staples(no tea for kids you say? not for me). And the easiest way to get to my drink of choice was the electric Kettle. 

How convenient! A press of a button, the flick of a switch and we would get boiling hot water in just minutes!

And in this cold weather, while I grapple with major life decisions, freak out about just everything that ever crosses my mind, and wish to simply disappear - here I sit, shivering in my tiny room, writing about electric kettles. Look at me, the DragonRider! I have achieved a level of disassociation previously thought unachievable. I might not have done anything of consequence in my life, the real one that is, but I damn well will write about kettles while a blade swings over my head , ever so close to lopping it off. 

Anyway, getting back to the topic at hand - kettles.

Sadly my tiny creature comforts were stolen from me when I moved to a new place. My father did not believe in electric kettles. Or rather, he didn't trust the ones that were popular. 

Before I dive into my woeful trials, it would perhaps be useful to list out what one does look for in an electric kettle:

  • It must heat water (this, when one thinks about it, ought to be a no-brainer, but as my trials shall be listed you would see this is no mean task)
  • It must be able to turn off by itself once its task is accomplished (this , again, would be an obvious thing - sadly it wasn't)
  • It shouldn't kill itself (sigh)
  • It should keep the water inside (I'm just repeating myself here)
This is a good point to start. This is where our troubles started.
  1. We tried a plastic one. That one gave off a plasticky smell that permeated the water. Was immediately dismissed as being unsafe
  2. We tried one with a steel body and plastic lid. We couldn't help the plastic lid, the sensors probably resided there. This model was super popular and everyone on the comments section was raving about it. That one killed itself and took out the fuse multiple times. After the third (or fourth) time we spent the day without power, my dad put his foot down. The plastic lid was brought unfairly into the fight. The wattage was questioned. the product was trashed
  3. We bought a similar kettle from a different brand. It had no switch that could switch off after the water had boiled. This caused much consternation. It was viewed like an animal from outer space. "How can it not have an auto off switch!????" my  dad spluttered with indignation. I guess a CMOS switch was too much for it's sensitive feelings. 
  4. We considered the "Kessel" which is an abomination b/w a kettle and vessel. P used to make us noodles in this with great success. This was shot down, because "That isn't a kettle, it is a vessel that boils water. And why does it have a knob to control temperature? We only need it to boil water"
  5. We bought another kettle with a total steel body, that was apparently "too big for us, just look at the wattage".  The steam "was ruining the wall near the kettle". It was returned promptly.
  6. Finally we ended up with a tiny kettle with a spout , that had a tiny wattage due to it's capacity, had a spout for the steam, had an auto switch. We spent a lot of time trying it out. The initial response seemed quite good! We decided NOT to return this one. Then, I caught another cold, and it turns out, we do drink and need copious amounts of hot water to get better. This kettle was immediately shot down as being absolutely useless because the quantity of water it heated did not help "anyone"
I give up. I decided to keep the tiny kettle, opinions be damned. And if some people complain about there never being enough hot water? I just boil some more and pretend it wasn't much of a bother at all. Just like I react to all the situations in my life. Ignore until the problems GLARES at you right in the eye, and deal with the fallout later. 

PS: Happy birthday to the twins!! See you real soon!! ;)

Until next time,
DragonRider

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