New Year, old hopes.

I Hope We All Have a Great New Year

Because I don't think I've ever seen such an absolute load of tosh being called a year , which is what 2024 was. 

Sorry, I promised myself I wouldn't rant, and will try sticking to it. 

What do I hope for this year?

• I hope I go for long lazy walks in large forests and parks 
• Something about the wonderful green , the quiet atmosphere, the cheery chirping of birds made it feel like the stress of the years I've had since covid simply melt away. It makes me wonder whether all the privileged folk who do have access to private forests, walkways, gardens realize what they have on their hands (pretty sure they do - Heck I miss college sooo much with the beautiful trees lining the empty roads, with our minds not collecting the myriad little pains and griefs that make up our lives)
• I hope my brother gets better
• I didn't think we would have anything to say after this long and each year passed by with us either fighting or ignoring each other. But seeing him lying there , pale and plugged with more needles I can ever imagine, fighting for his life broke something permanently in me. I see the world with new (seemingly bitter, jaded ) eyes now. I am spending more time with him now, than I had ever before, and he seems more open to communicating and seems to want our company . I cannot fathom how horrible it would be , to look at the world that you knew so well and find that you do not understand or do not KNOW as he tells me these days. I would take the grumpy , angsty teen-like creature over whatever this bullshit is, and I really hope he gets back there , even though my hope seems misplaced. Honestly if there ever was magic, now would be a good time to show yourself, or all those days spent tragically weeping on the terrace with a book would be for naught. 
• I hope I grow more plants
• I finally managed to get the mint to stay alive (grow would be an understatement) and want to see more happy greens around me , even if a park or a forest is beyond my reach
• I hope I travel
• Every place I go to gives me new vistas to feast upon , new people to interact with, new perspectives to my thinking. I didn't get to go much this year, with all the things that have happened, but I hope anyway. 
• I hope I read, read , read
• The last few years have been marked with ... ahem... some questionable content, and it felt like in the last quarter of 2024, I made some progress by reading some Brandon Sanderson (MISTBORNNNNN) and of course the Grimm Fairy tales book that I keep going back to. And of course, the absolute purification I experienced after reading the travelling cat - I want more of this now, I want to feel something visceral while reading, feel things that I cannot seem to express without showing anger or frustration these days.
•  I hope I can see the world the way I used to see it
• I find myself just accepting injustices in the world, and I am just so TIRED of having to fight everything, I wish I had the vigor , the strength of younger me , to take offense, to get mad at things, to be able to make fun of the horrible and the sad , the way I used to , instead of this acceptance, head bowed, no hope in my heart, trudging away each day, doom scrolling weird things and not even finding them novel, but doom scrolling anyway, because the alternative is boredom, and facing reality , which is infinitely worse
• I hope my loved ones are healthy too
• Because it sucks to go through the alternative, period.

There are a million more things I hope for and haven't written here, but the day is ticking dear Reader, you ought to go out and enjoy the beginning of 2025!

Until Next Time, 

DragonRider