In Defense of NOT Cutting Your Own Hair

 Hi!

As we are all well aware, this pandemic has us in disarray. I will not spend time describing this nightmare, we have all lived through it, and I hope all of us remain safe.

Of course the pandemic, and the god-awful restrictions imposed on us poor folk meant things like going to the Grocery store, visiting relatives, or going to the parlor (which is already a rarity for me) was like a mission in a post-apocalyptic world - one misstep could mean you and your loved ones will get Covid. At least, that's how I saw myself (I love - LOVE - playing out cool scenarios in my head. It is my solace, my wall against reality) covering my mouth and nose, wearing outdoorsy clothes, stepping out walking at brisk pace, avoiding everyone in my way, getting the groceries, spraying my clothes with sanitizing spray and putting them to wash, washing my arms and face, and burning my mask. Every. Single. Time.

Of course, NOW it's more of a "eh why do I have to go outside my house, let me just lick some corn starch, I don't want to go out at all" and then my parents end up going in my stead. 

Well, one of the things we stopped going out for was haircuts. During the first few months of the pandemic, my father's hair grew at an alarming rate. (Thanks Dad, instead of getting anything cool from you like great hair growing capabilities, I got your massive fivehead over which nomadic humans could settle and begin their new civilization, and your great skin, which has pores which can be used to setup oil rigs. Yay)

Since going to the barbers was absolutely out of question, we ended up trying to cut his hair at home. I bought a pair of supposedly sharp scissors, a spray bottle, and a nice comb to aid this process. Since this was my first time trying to cut hair, I was overly cautious, carefully picking up sections in order, and trimming them with a feather light touch. 

Cut to almost half a year later, one could see me casually taking a hair clipper, setting it to the shortest setting and giving my father a buzzcut. Sure, he would grumble about his hair not growing out much anymore, or he would yell at random times of the day about how he looks bald now. But hey, it wasn't my fault! I just did my duty!

That was until I cut my own hair.

My split ends were spreading like the virus itself. My hair looked dull and lifeless. I was frantic. I wanted my hair to look good! A few Youtube videos later I found myself in front of my dimly lit mirror, carefully parting my freshly washed hair in sections, opting for a "layered" cut. 

I tied my hair up in a pony, combed through carefully, and held the last few inches in my hand. My heart skipped a few beats, I was going to chop them off! I took my comb, combed them again, and held my scissors at a taper. Chop - ugh, the so called sharp scissors had lost their useless sharpness. I tugged a bit and went ahead chopping up my hair in tinier segments - no clean cut for this person.

I thought the hair looked fine - I had layers now, they would fall in a beautiful cascade, and look just like in the movies. Heh, maybe I would be the heroine of a lead k-drama series myself, and an unrealistically hawte person would fall for me :p (I have been reading waayy too many Manhwas - and they are all romance)

All these dreams would have come true hadn't I suffered from hair fall. I also don't comb my hair on most days, because that's a lot of work. Even if I did comb, curly hair doesn't behave in any way that you would want it to. The cascade I was hoping for looked like the mess of a badly managed wasp nest. It didn't even look close to the graceful Amy Winehouse one.

I thought to myself - it doesn't matter, atleast my hair is in the same state as it was. No worse than before! How wrong I was - turns out, the chopping was botched, I cut hair in a pony, which made sure that my strands and locks were misplaced. So now I have longer hair on my right, and shorter hair to my left. 

Moral? Don't cut your own hair unless you know what you are doing. Giving your dad a buzzcut is fine, especially when all you have heard for the past 1 year is how useless you really are. 

Until next time,

DragonRider