A Glossary of Terms used on Matrimony Websites
Ok, so here's the deal -
Most folks on these matrimony websites have an all new Vocabulary which only they seem to "get". It's like we are the boomers and people writing out their profile descriptions/requirements are the savvy teenagers with their own lingo and their condescension.
ANYWAY, I tried to compile a short list (it's a work in progress situation we have here) for us to have. A handy reference if you will. Read away!
(Disclaimer!! This post is for entertainment purposes and any resemblance to the real thing is accidental/coincidental. There - now that's cleared!)
Traditional yet modern
an anomaly - it doesn't exist.
This phrase is used to describe people who are entrenched in the patriarchy and will never change, but want to be seen as cool and changing with the times. These people come with a category of permissions which they think are modern. They will ALLOW the new bride to wear JEANS / PANTS. They will ALLOW her to visit eating establishments. They will ALLOW for her to have some female friends. ALL these horrible modern things that are leading our society to an inevitable apocalypse are sadly being accepted by the poor boy and his parents because WOMEN these DAYS have NO RESPECT for the way things WERE DONE. Their sons are modern too but surely the women's parents should have known better?
Believes and respects the Institution of Marriage
full of crap
This phrase is used to show the woman her rightful place in the foodchain. The bottom. She must know that her opinions and thoughts do not matter. She is expected to make compromises. Her husband is a philanderer? she must adjust. Woe betide her if she decides to philander too. Her in-laws will replace her parents. This is after all the institution of marriage, not some normal job that she is taking up. Having children is mandatory. Inability to have them is a sign that she doesnt believe in the institution. Hmm, now that I write it out this sounds like a cult. Believe! Believe!
Modern yet traditional
an anomaly, applicable only to the women.
This phrase describes the groom. He is modern in that he might like partying or chilling out. He is looking for someone who can draw the line for his parents. She is grounded, traditional or atleast expected to be when his parents come visiting. She doesn't enjoy the same things as he does when the parents come a knocking. He thinks he is quite open-minded because he ALLOWS certain freedoms to his wife, like ordering out, having a maid, working. She should have been spending her lifetime serving him, but he allows her to have a small life of her own. Her interests, her work etc., are minor things that she can pursue BUT she is expected to drop them all if HE is inconvenienced in the slightest.
Fair, with Good Features
My child can look like roadkill but we must ensure that his bride must look absolutely stunning. STUNNING I say, he has done his engineering and MBA, surely this education deserves only the best?
Family Oriented Girl
This phrase is used to describe a woman who is willing to be the cow. The cow must be willing to take up all home related responsibilities and also support income if possible. Either through dowry or through working. She is also the primary caregiver for everyone in the family.
Adding some more gems that I encountered -
Domestically Trained
This phrase is accompanied with "Education is optional". Kindly add this to your bovine resume.
Uphold the Family Pride
Are we Atlas here? Your family pride might encompass the globe. What exactly are you folks PROUD of anyway?
Will add more descriptions as and when they encounter them. Send me yours!
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