Do I truly need a Starbucks coffee?

The good part about having some money to spend, is that - well - you have money to spend.

The sad part about it, is that you make impulsive decisions that result in trauma, that will remain with you for the rest of your short, pointless and useless existence.

From the title, and from this long sentence/rant it must have become obvious to you guys, what this sorry post is going to be about. In case you are die-hard fans of Starbucks - stop! This post is not for you.

This post is a personal opinion, and although it is a good opinion, you aren't obligated to feel the same way. Also - Stay safe, there are a lot of floods doing the rounds, and let's hope we all come out of this unscathed.

Anyway -


The epitome of coffee shops.
The place where boyfriends can feel both wretched and loved.
The place for all the hip people in town.
The cafe where you sip on the cheapest drink possible and post about it on Facebook.
The place with loads of fancy drinks with equally fancy names.
The coffee shop, where each one of those fancy drinks doesn't cost anything lesser than 300 INR.
The shop normal people only go once to "try" it out.

I thought I would go there as well. I would try the (presumably) amazing coffee there that would cost me close to 1000 INR. I thought - this is it! A dream come true. I would float on clouds, the flavours would blow my mind, the posh atmosphere would introduce a level of sophistication into my primitive mind. Just first world problems to torment me (nevermind the fast depleting wallet) and some good coffee to go with it! It's coffee from the Americas! What could possibly go wrong?!

My dad has always wanted to try it out as well (for better reasons than mine). So there we were, on a cool, drizzly Sunday afternoon (a week ago), at one of the larger malls of Bengaluru. It was quite tiring and as we were roaming around, we came across a Starbucks! On an impulse (that was deeply regretted later on), we went inside.

The first warning should have been right there. There was no reassuring smell of coffee emanating from anywhere close to the shop. There was, however, a long line of people waiting to place their order. (surely this was a good sign? read on!)

We went in, stood in line, and started staring at the list of drinks they had. There were weird names (which could be promising sometimes - boy were we wrong!). Then there were the familiar ones - mocha, cappuccino, and all that. There were weird sizes called tall, grande and some other thing I wouldn't care to remember. We decided upon the safe options (or what we thought was safe).

1 cocoa cappucino - tall
1 hazelnut latte - tall
And to try out something to eat we ordered Tiramisu (believing it would be good).

Where do I begin?
First, the wait time, for two simple drinks, were waaayyyy longer than I expected.
Second, with the kind of seating they had, they could just display the names we had given, instead of yelling them from far away.
Third, my dad and I are used to having our coffee hot (piping!).
My mom took one look at the shop, made a face and decided not to try out anything (in retrospect, this was the most wise decision taken - ever).

The coffee was luke warm, which would be ideal if we didn't want to linger on it. But we did want to linger, and savor the aroma! (of which there was none). Moving on to the drinks themselves : absolutely no sugar. So we had to mix some in, and even then, no kick of the coffee.

I don't think the hazelnut latte actually had any coffee in it. It looked like watered down milk to which just a tinge of tumeric is added (a sort of pale pale  yellow). It had no taste. I understand that a latte usually has less coffee compared to a cappuccino. I didn't know it meant that a latte must have no coffee at all.

Then the cappuccino, which tasted a little better than the hazelnut. But that hardly means anything. It again had no discernible taste.
Disappointed, we moved to the tiramisu (I have had one Tiramisu that costed pretty much the same, but was the most amazing dessert I have ever had till date. In fact that was the Tiramisu that made me love this dessert).

Back to the dessert - we were disappointed again! It felt like consuming a dry pastry base, with an awful cream on top. Where on earth was the coffee??!!!

What was interesting, was the crowd. There were obviously people who had come to the cafe for the first time. Then there were the pros who just put in their order, got it almost immediately, and walked away with the styrofoam cup. Then there was the obligatory tensed boyfriend - posh girlfriend combo. There were also some folks there, who seemed quite at home. And that's about it. Pretty much the same crowd you find in any coffee day, but in Starbucks!

Saddened, with my wallet considerably lighter, we walked out all the way to the exit of the mall in silence. There all three of us decided to never step into Starbucks again. I called up my brother, who had been there before and did not give me an honest review about it. I began to whine about my experience, and the first question he asked after getting to know I went to a Starbucks was - didn't it taste like crap? Which made me so mad, because if one has a brother, one would think he would give you an honest review about the place you were gonna regret going to.

Anyway, you must be wondering why did I write a Zomato like review here instead of complaining right there? I did not know! I wasn't sure whether it was something wrong with my taste buds, or with my attitude. With so many people being proud of visiting Starbucks, I wondered whether it was me?!

Another reason why I wrote here was this - did I really need overpriced chemicals to go down my gullet? Did I not have great smelling, and better tasting coffee at home? Was the ambiance that great, that it had to be experienced? Perhaps once. Going again would be absolute stupidity. Atleast to me it would be.

I will be on the lookout for a better place to exist (chill is so last decade, and I am too old to hangout).If any one of you has a suggestion to make - do not hesitate! Heck maybe we can all catch up, and go together!

Until next time,


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