Steady Death: How I will still die soon, albeit as a vampire

How art thou?

Tis my painful announcement about another years' passing since the last post.

Which meant my birthday just went by!

Just wanted to tell you folks about how I -  while dying sooner than last year's expected rate - am slowly turning into a mortal vampire.

A mortal aging vampire with none of the cool things that come with vampirism?

My eyes are turning extremely sensitive to light. I literally hiss as the sun kissed objects around me come in my line of vision. I also burn (quite literally) in the sun. My skin turns red (slowly black), and the whole day is agony. I feel like snuggling into my blanket and sleeping all day - and suddenly come wide awake at night. All the food that I loved once, is tasting like ash and sawdust. Chocolate is too sweet, cheese is too bloaty, chaat is too loud, ice-cream?- let's forget about it.

On the other hand, my skin is wrinkling, my hair is slowly fading away like my hopes and dreams. I can't see as well as I could. My immunity levels are lower than ever. I can't walk as much as I used to. I seem to accept all the tiny nuisances that made me mad before. Every little annoyance is taken in my stride. Is this what growing old feels like?

P got married (Congratulations babe!! You looked gorgeous!) I am crying and whining like a toddler, begging for attention (I look at you Confidante-that-wasnt-there). Music is pointless and makes me want to cry. I give in to the annoying demands of people around me. I am actually tolerable to be around (or so I am told).

And I still have acne. I mean really??? 3 Decades on this cursed land was not enough for the hormones to decide - let's leave the poor sod alone. It is time to look for a new heir to the Savannah!!!

Everything that had made me - me is gone. Or dying a slow slow death. Give me a couple of years more, and you would never recognize it was me beneath all those updates to the code.

Oh, and did I mention, how I am loosing my mind? Yeah that's another delightful set of traits I have as a reward to my years of living (if it can be called that) Great, I am grumpy and old. Way to go.

Until next time,

PS: You guys have to read the column written by a J.Mathrubhootam. It's on the Hindu. Here's a sample -

This guy is old. I guess I should hang around my own kind now. You have been warned!


Chella said…
Oh Maaann! Sorry for not-being-there! my life these days is controlled by the inconsequential entities of the universe and I remain a mere spectator - watching myself being tortured by impossible events!!
And btw, I just read your 'Faking It' post and was appalled by ... well, let me just say we have a bag of bones to pick on that one alone :P

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