Annoyingly Inquisitive

Hi!

So, its been a while since I wrote a thing. I was too busy, being absolutely unproductive (Binge watching whatever it was that caught my fancy).

I hope you guys watch Trevor Noah - he is really funny (and it helps that he is cute as well!)
He was talking about a recent surgery he had to get his voice back, and he was talking about how Indians are the hardest to deal with, because they ask so many questions. I wonder why I never asked many while studying if we are all supposed to be so inquisitive.

Of course, then I got to see it first hand.

 An acquaintance of mine had a hair transplant done recently. What interested me a lot more though, was the way people asked him questions. Oh boy.. The minute he walked in through those glass doors, people looked at him, did a double take, and made a beeline for him.

He is very calm and collected, and handled the barrage of questions quite well. There was the usual, what happened? Are you alright? Is this Surgery? Did they use gum? Can you wash your hair? Wait, is this real hair? Are you in pain? How much did it cost? How long will it stay? What are the side effects? Are they looking for a girl to get you married to? Was this done on the request of a girl? Do you need medication for the rest of your life? What is the success rate of this method? Why did you not get the other kind of transplant done?

And on, and on and on.

And the sad part was that, he had to repeat the answers to a whole bunch of people, for the whole day, and the next! I would have definitely not put up with such things. Although I must admit, I did feel like hopping over to the group where the latest repetition of the explanation was given, and get to know for myself about his journey from point A to point B (I snort with derision at my own foolishness). However, I felt like this was a huge invasion on his privacy, and that he would tell me if he felt like it. It just seemed terribly rude to go prodding about things like that. I sadly sank back down in my seat after hovering a few inches above it for a good two minutes.

Thankfully, I joined a group soon and got a first hand account of everything without having to ask a single question.

I couldn't help but think of an alternate conversation that must have (surely?) be going on in his mind.


  • what happened? 
Oh, the sky had fallen! or perhaps My soul was transferred to another body! His name is Cranky, and that's just who I am now! OR I am alien from an alternate universe, who has come to overthrow humans. Please do not panic, and look at my hair.
  • Are you alright?
No. No, all my internal organs are bleeding and I will pass out right in front you in 3... 2... 1..!! or maybe even Were you referring to the mind or body? Because the latter seems alright, however I begin to suspect my mind might not be after all your questions!
  •  Is this Surgery? 
No, they just magically grew overnight and arranged themselves this way. I was as surprised as you! Could be due to all the magic dust I inhaled that night!
  • Did they use gum? 
I am a certified doctor, and hence qualified to answer technical details about something I am unwilling to discuss. Yes, there might have been gum involved. Perhaps I should have brought some along!
  • Can you wash your hair?
Yes. (This was something even I wanted to know, so nothing snarky here. I know, I am mean)
  •  Wait, is this real hair?
No these are the magic threads woven by Arachne herself. In doing so she has lent me her superhuman strength of weaving. High-ho!
  •  Are you in pain? 
No, I am not. Thank you for asking.  (Again, something I wanted to know)
  • How much did it cost?
*Thinks to himself - If I were a doctor, or charged them for each question, I would be able to cover the costs of surgery through sheer willpower* Blah blah amount. 
  •  How long will it stay?
*Again to himself - hopefully forever?* It has magical properties! It is supposed to combust like a Howler!
  •  What are the side effects? 
Are you planning to get one for yourself? A possible side-effect could be patience!
  • Are they looking for a girl to get you married to? 
Holy -
  • Was this done on the request of a girl?
I can't even- What is WRONG with you people?
  •  Do you need medication for the rest of your life?
I sure hope not!
  •  What is the success rate of this method?
YEAH. YEAH I WILL TELL YOU EXACTLY WHAT IS THE SUCCESS RATE AND OTHER TECHNICAL INFORMATION, FOR GOD KNOWS WHAT PURPOSE. I MEAN SURE, I COULD GET BACK TO WORK, BUT NO, NO, LETS OPEN A BROCHURE AND DISCUSS EVERYTHING ONCE MORE
  •  Why did you not get the other kind of transplant done?
OH, I AM SORRY, WERE YOU A DOCTOR TOO? YOU DON'T SAY!!! WHERE WERE YOU WHEN I ACTUALLY NEEDED ONE? I SHOULD HAVE KNOWN, YOU ARE WAAAY BETTER THAN AN ACTUAL DOC WHO KNOWS WHAT HE IS DOING!!! I AM SO INDEBTED TO YOU! THANK YOU! YOU ARE A TRUE CHAMP DOC!

Well, until next time!
DragonRider

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