Other People's HAIR

I thought I would relax, sip some tea and write a thesis about what I didn't like about the House Of The Dragon, but no, the Gods had other plans for me.

What PISSES me off royally is seeing my hair fall. And post the move and Covid , it looks like the only thing my hair does do is fall. Seriously, I have no hair left. 

No amount of spa treatments, at home treatments, ayurvedic treatments, supplementing is helping it at all.

And then I decide to join instagram where OF COURSE there are glamorous women with huge volumes of long perfect hair (hair that looks like it has never been subjected to general frizz and abuse) with bodies that are PERFECT. I hope they all FESTER with their perfect anatomy while sniffing at delicacies that I would quite honestly have gobbled up.

(In case you haven't noticed,  YES! I have joined Instagram! Why? Because I had some work there. Whether I actually spend time working or I just while away my time watching reels is a question for another day - a very very far away day)

So I , in my finite wisdom decided to get off insta and switch to trusty Reddit, where the world's toxicity comes to reside. Ah, a good dose of negativity just to show how everything is right in the world! There truly is nothing like it. Reddit. Goddamn you!!

There I was scrolling through interesting bits like the cute Halloween decorations, reading weird Harry Potter fan theories, and giggling at the memes, but NOOOO suddenly I had to see one of God's angels showing his head full of perfectly coiled , WELL BEHAVED, gorgeous curls. You folks might wonder "But DragonRider, why would such a specimen come up in your feed? You must secretly be looking for such things! "(Chi Chi Chi - how my mom would say. She says a lot of stuff these days. But anyway-) I tell you, that guy was holding a beautiful kitty. That was a cat sub. I wanted to look at cats. My eyes demand justice for having to witness this horror. I asked for cats, not for a gut-punch to my already non-existent self-esteem. 

I wasn't alone in my complaints. A lot of users were vocal about there being a distraction from the happy happy viewing of our feline friends. Some people guided him to a dedicated subreddit (Because of course, one must have a platform to confuse people further) and that was the end of that. Dear Reader, that picture threw me off.

I spent the whole weekend thinking about that cursed boy and his perfect hair. Why did a guy need that kind of hair? He didn't seem to play the guitar. Drummers generally find long hair a pain to deal with. He wasn't the lead singer of a band. Long hair was pointless for him. All of his pictures on the sub were just him wearing expensive clothes and holding his kitty, who frankly looked confused to be there.

Someone made the sad mistake of asking him: "Share your routine! You have lovely hair!"

Before anyone could save the poor people reading, this person replied "Oh I just use any old conditioner to wash my hair, and then use some argan oil here and there"

HERE and THERE

HERE & THERE

Meanwhile YOURS TRULY needs to spend about a night, letting hair soak in oil, wash them the next day , clean up the crime scene with more hair shed than his cat, wipe my tears, take deep breaths for the incoming panic attack, get out, try a serum, realize it's not doing a damn thing, try some oil, give up and sob on the bed, and spend the day lazing about, contemplating on what else could I modify in my diet to make them stay where they are supposed to - ON MY GODDAMNED HEAD!

I sometimes think God has a special place for souls like me. When the powers above were creating this kid, I'm SURE their thoughts went - 

G: Hmm time to make another human. Hey you, lowly angel, come here. Now, gimme your hair

Lowly Angel: My Lord?

G: Your hair man, (pun intended), your hair!

Lowly Angel: But why ? I like this hair!

G: ... quit your whining! Fine, I'll try something else...Ohhhh wait... here's this cretin I made a while back... Haven't tortured her today. Let's take her hopes and dreams, liquify them... like so... and then add a bit of my own magic.... voila!!! there you go!! PERFECT HAIR. Now I can assign this special concoction to YOU, a random rich male, who will probably have everything served to him in a platter anyway. 

G: And that lowly angel, is how you do a good day's work!

Lowly Angel: I am not sure how I feel about being called lowly.... My Lord.

G: Ah, you don't matter anyway. Pass the nachos. 

And so on. You get the idea. 

Sigh. Should probably stick to Insta memes of HOTD. 

Until next time, 

DragonRider