The strange workings of my brain
Hi there!!
So this is a pretty big deal for me. And that's why I thought I would announce it here first, and then talk about it (repeatedly) with all of you. (And I have this feeling that I would be the sort of tiresome person that will keep talking about this all the time.
The last Wednesday, I rushed into my house, (forgetting my wallet in the process) because my parents had called me up, giving me some news.
I am not one for adding pictures here (Dear God that's a lot of work!) , however, this occasion calls for it!
Yep!!(Cue dramatic music)
This tale starts a long long time ago... In the days when Bangalore was still a Garden city - it's untouched beauty having no parallels (atleast for me, that's how it was). The weather was always pleasant, and the air smelled of flowers. It was shady everywhere. And this was the time (in this fairy land) when I was a child. I loved all animals for some reason. I longed to have a pet. Ideally, a cat was perfect. A dog would have been wonderful. But really, any pet would be an honor. However, my parents decided not having any was the best way ahead. And so I grew up, secretly desiring to have a pet, but never being allowed to keep any, and secretly promising myself to have a pet when I am all grown up. I guess i classify as being all-grown-up now.
Anyhoo, I used to befriend a lot of strays in my spare time. I have had a lot of puppies, a couple of cats , and I think even a crow once - come to me, eat, wag their tails around a bit (or purr and rub around my legs) and go away. Fun times! (although the cat did bring a lot of fleas. Boy that was a bad time to be alive).
Slowly the city changed - the trees got cut, the air became dusty, animals of all sorts became scarcer. I spent most of my time travelling in overcrowded buses (BMTC our Lord and Saviour). And I did not spend as much time with our lovable strays as I would have liked. And then, I do not really know what happened - I stopped interacting with them altogether. (Being chased around or barked at might have done that, you never know)
Until a couple of days back, when my dad sent me a picture of some fish. I said - Great! They look nice! (My fascination towards fish extends to spending hours staring at them. Fish aren't that great at showing love. They always seem hungry, and are extremely shy). To be polite I also added - Where did you take these?
My dad decided to take a selfie then, and the next photo to pop up was my mom's, who was looking close to crying, with the aquarium. It took me around a minute to realize that the picture was taken in my room. And there were live, real fish , in my room. I went crazy for a while, and wouldn't deny crying a little myself. (Although my mom had tears of anger, rather than joy in her eyes)
My mom is a person who doesn't really like animals. She tolerates them if they are far away, but she cannot stand them anywhere close to her. Among dogs, she seems to like the small cute ones, that cannot harm a thing, and are extremely child-like in behaviour. She hates cats. (Almost everyone I know seems to hate cats for some reason). I can't imagine what she must have gone through when she saw my father bringing in a whole aquarium complete with two large fish in them. From what I hear, she was quite angry. But apparently she slowly began to enjoy their company, because by the time I got home, I found her in front of it, trying to make them follow her hand, and talking to them.
As for me, well I am confused. I was happy, delighted, elated at the prospect of finally having some pet. But now, after spending a whole weekend with them, I feel conflicted. I feel like these graceful creatures do not belong in glass enclosures. I keep wondering about what do they do all day. I worry about the smaller one not eating right. Call me silly (DragonRider, you are getting whatever you want!! you might be saying), but I somehow feel like I am not cut out to take care of things. Probably a dog, because it would beg for attention, and would always be in the vicinity, playing or barking or whatever it is that dogs do. But this added responsibility seems a little too much for me - me, the lazy person who would rather read a book, than go for a walk in delicious weather. Or me, the person who cleans her room once a month ;)
Perhaps I will come to accept these new additions to my life eventually. But for now all I can feel is a strange sense of melancholy. I feel like I am let down in a way- this is something I have wished for a long long time, and now when I finally have it, I feel empty.
Like I said probably just me being silly.
Only time will tell!! I will write about them later... For those who are wondering, these are Oscars, and come in a wide variety of colours. They are fresh-water fish, originally from South America.
Until next time!
DragonRider
So this is a pretty big deal for me. And that's why I thought I would announce it here first, and then talk about it (repeatedly) with all of you. (And I have this feeling that I would be the sort of tiresome person that will keep talking about this all the time.
The last Wednesday, I rushed into my house, (forgetting my wallet in the process) because my parents had called me up, giving me some news.
I am not one for adding pictures here (Dear God that's a lot of work!) , however, this occasion calls for it!
Yep!!(Cue dramatic music)
We have an aquarium now!
(Some of you must be wondering why is this a big deal - and I will explain it to you in a while)
This tale starts a long long time ago... In the days when Bangalore was still a Garden city - it's untouched beauty having no parallels (atleast for me, that's how it was). The weather was always pleasant, and the air smelled of flowers. It was shady everywhere. And this was the time (in this fairy land) when I was a child. I loved all animals for some reason. I longed to have a pet. Ideally, a cat was perfect. A dog would have been wonderful. But really, any pet would be an honor. However, my parents decided not having any was the best way ahead. And so I grew up, secretly desiring to have a pet, but never being allowed to keep any, and secretly promising myself to have a pet when I am all grown up. I guess i classify as being all-grown-up now.
Anyhoo, I used to befriend a lot of strays in my spare time. I have had a lot of puppies, a couple of cats , and I think even a crow once - come to me, eat, wag their tails around a bit (or purr and rub around my legs) and go away. Fun times! (although the cat did bring a lot of fleas. Boy that was a bad time to be alive).
Slowly the city changed - the trees got cut, the air became dusty, animals of all sorts became scarcer. I spent most of my time travelling in overcrowded buses (BMTC our Lord and Saviour). And I did not spend as much time with our lovable strays as I would have liked. And then, I do not really know what happened - I stopped interacting with them altogether. (Being chased around or barked at might have done that, you never know)
Until a couple of days back, when my dad sent me a picture of some fish. I said - Great! They look nice! (My fascination towards fish extends to spending hours staring at them. Fish aren't that great at showing love. They always seem hungry, and are extremely shy). To be polite I also added - Where did you take these?
My dad decided to take a selfie then, and the next photo to pop up was my mom's, who was looking close to crying, with the aquarium. It took me around a minute to realize that the picture was taken in my room. And there were live, real fish , in my room. I went crazy for a while, and wouldn't deny crying a little myself. (Although my mom had tears of anger, rather than joy in her eyes)
My mom is a person who doesn't really like animals. She tolerates them if they are far away, but she cannot stand them anywhere close to her. Among dogs, she seems to like the small cute ones, that cannot harm a thing, and are extremely child-like in behaviour. She hates cats. (Almost everyone I know seems to hate cats for some reason). I can't imagine what she must have gone through when she saw my father bringing in a whole aquarium complete with two large fish in them. From what I hear, she was quite angry. But apparently she slowly began to enjoy their company, because by the time I got home, I found her in front of it, trying to make them follow her hand, and talking to them.
As for me, well I am confused. I was happy, delighted, elated at the prospect of finally having some pet. But now, after spending a whole weekend with them, I feel conflicted. I feel like these graceful creatures do not belong in glass enclosures. I keep wondering about what do they do all day. I worry about the smaller one not eating right. Call me silly (DragonRider, you are getting whatever you want!! you might be saying), but I somehow feel like I am not cut out to take care of things. Probably a dog, because it would beg for attention, and would always be in the vicinity, playing or barking or whatever it is that dogs do. But this added responsibility seems a little too much for me - me, the lazy person who would rather read a book, than go for a walk in delicious weather. Or me, the person who cleans her room once a month ;)
Perhaps I will come to accept these new additions to my life eventually. But for now all I can feel is a strange sense of melancholy. I feel like I am let down in a way- this is something I have wished for a long long time, and now when I finally have it, I feel empty.
Like I said probably just me being silly.
Only time will tell!! I will write about them later... For those who are wondering, these are Oscars, and come in a wide variety of colours. They are fresh-water fish, originally from South America.
Until next time!
DragonRider
Comments
This is a sad part of life--disillusionment. We get what we want and then find out that it's different from what we'd pictured it to be.
I didn't expect this sudden realization that my brain had :(